Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Final Cut

Pain is a many-layered thing. At one level it's uncomfortable, difficult to deal with, hard to cope and infinitely avoidable. At another, it's soothing, comfortable, seductive and easy. At yet another, it's universal, inescapable and the only absolute truth. Are there degrees? I am not sure. But the one thing that I know is, to the sufferer it's very real and there are many expressions of it. The pain of losing someone is real as is a bleeding finger. But pain at times is not this explicit. I have found that the most difficult of them all.
Now, where am I going with this?
Today, I was hit with news of bereavement in the morning. First, a message from someone I was once close to, that spoke of his recent loss of a parent. Despite everything that went wrong in our relationship (if one can even call it that) the news hurt deeply. It hurt, for I have known loss. It hurt, because even as an adult I look up to my parents for guidance and support. They are my anchors, emotional and otherwise. Though our everyday relationship is transactional, I draw comfort from knowing that they are there for me. Knowing that this loss is inevitable doesn’t ease the pain. And knowing that they are irreplaceable hurts even more.
Then came a mail from some one I revere. He had written about his child, who he is close to losing. He wrote about the joy of having someone special in his life and the pain of knowing that he has to let him go. This brought back a host of memories. An oft-remembered anguished journey through desolation and despair.
Yes, I have seen life and death from close quarters and it sure ain’t pretty.
Thought I oughta bare my naked feelings,
Thought I oughta tear the curtain down.
I held the blade in trembling hands
Prepared to make it but just then the phone rang
I never had the nerve to make the final cut.
-Roger Waters-


Moushumi said...

woh bhuli dastaan phir yaad aa gayi....the pain, the hurt, the remembrance that was lying in some some part of me forgotten, ignored, came back again in a flash....I dont want to lose it cos it makes me rememember never to be proud or arrogant-Thanks for ur post

DreamCatcher said...

M: Keep faith..that's the only thing we can keep. One must also learn to forgive...oneself, to begin with.

Shubhojit said...

The pain of losing a dear one really hurts bad and for long. My colleague's dad has been diagnosed with cancer in the final stages and has been given 6 months. Thats pain of seeing ur dear one die everyday is even more excruciating. I dont blame her when she says that its better if he dies today. Atleast he'll be spared the pain.

I've been through such a loss & know how bad it is. But life never stops :)

Moushumi said...

yeah u r right- thanks again:)

Hanedin said...

coming back to life sounded surprisingly amazing alongside beethoven?

DreamCatcher said...

Hanedin: music doesn't have enjoy :)