Friday, November 02, 2007

all apologies

The grave peril in life is the guilt trap. First, we are born guilty. Then as life progresses, we fall into a pattern of guilt traps each bigger and more profound than the other. It’s like those open manholes on the roads of a monsoon drenched Calcutta. They would leave them open with a bamboo pole and a red flag to warn off careless pedestrians, who have to wade through often waist deep water to get to where they have to. You could watch the water needlessly gushing towards the man holes. Protesting loudly but whipped by gradient, they struggle to be free, to be once again, the light hearted drops in a cloud. But then there was never any escape. Parents and family. Then friends. Then lovers and spouses. Then children. Then some more friends. Like a never ending vortex of guilty you end up like the muddy gushy water, scared and ready to get into the nearest black hole. Guilty for not able to love. Guilty for not caring enough. Guilty for being too strong. Guilty for being too weak. Guilty for holding on. Guilty for letting go. Guilty for lies you told to protect. Guilty for honesty you showed. Guilty for baring your soul. Guilty for not doing the baring in the manner expected of you. The world is a Court of Immaculate Justice and you are pronounced GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS!

3 comments:

Shreyasi Deb said...

Beautiful! rings a loud bell

greekalphabet said...

Ouch. That hurt. Only because it is so true.

DreamCatcher said...

SD: u bet...

GA: lefe's like that I guess