It has been a tumultuous weekend. I was on the rollercoaster interfacing a sequence of actions that I could not grasp fully or react wholly. It’s like watching a movie with finger pressed in fast forward. It didn’t help to have Neelum Saran Gour’s Sikandar Chowk Park for distraction. It is a good book (I am sure) but the doses of desperation, despondency and decay require an equally conducive mental frame which was unfortunately missing. So I shall withhold my comment on the book till I read it completely in a more amicable mood.
I also spent my time doing a ‘housing project’ for Ro’s school assignment. He had wanted to make a tree house while I was telling him the merits of a tent (which is a far easier to make). Finally, we settled on a less complicated apartment block only to realize that he wanted a swimming pool and garden to go with it. So Sunday afternoon was spent shaping tricky thermacol sheets (you would know the pain if you have ever tried it!), colouring them suitably and pasting them with precision. It has been a long while since I have done this and unapologetically my back gave up before we could complete. Groan!
I spoke with someone after 18 months and we managed to have a civil conversation. This was uplifting in a strange way. This, promises to end a part of the acrimony that has been there for years now. We both have our guards up still but with time and dialogue we may learn to trust each other a little. In the process, I gave up things that hold some meaning. I learnt to let go too. With a new beginning, things would probably have more perspective than before now that we have to share responsibilities. The lessons from the past 10 years have been:
Never compromise on basic values.
Don’t be led by emotion alone.
Ensure you are heard when things are not right.
Don’t sulk. It achieves nothing.
No one can appease everybody. So don’t sacrifice yourself for greater good. There is no such thing.
Martyrdom isn’t a sure shot way to sainthood.
Have the balls to take tough decisions even when it hurts and don’t be afraid to be the bad guy.