the hardest thing

Your heart constricts uncontrollably when in one moment’s distraction you realize you are going to miss someone. In that unsettled feeling you reinvent love. In that suddenness you understand attachment. Then, in that awkward stillness you brace yourself once again, to let go.

I have never been good with goodbyes.

addicted

I have pursued pleasure and I have pursued pain. At times I couldn’t tell one from the other. Now, after so many years they seem like signposts that define my life to me. They have left me hurt, broken and strong. Have made me older, wiser and saner. Given me dreams, dare and scars. So will I pursue them again? Hell, yes. Only this time maybe one more than the other.